How does likeability have anything to do with education or the classroom setting? According to Robert Cialdini, author of Influence: Science and Practice, likeability matters everywhere. How many times have your children or their friends come home and said they don’t like their teacher or instructor? Does this affect their success in the classroom? My experience as a parent and in conversation with other parents is a definite yes.
On the student side, if they like their teacher, they are more likely to do their homework and to do it with less of a struggle. What about on the teacher’s side? Does the likeability of a student affect their grade? We would all like to think not, but is it true? Would we even know if it was not? How much of our behavior is below our level of consciousness, or as Cialdini describes it, “click- whirr”?
The worst piece of advice I’ve gotten in my whole career is from somebody who said, ‘Remember, it’s all about likeability.’ — Clive Owen.
Likeability is a friendly thief?
Cialdini describes likeability as a friendly thief. We are taken advantage of before we even know what happens. So why do we like someone? Cialdini says that there is a click-whirr effect to liking someone for their physical attractiveness. A finding backed by research done by Olson and Marshuetz (2005). Before we even realize it, we assign more attractive traits such as talent, kindness, and intelligence to more attractive people. Cialdini cites multiple studies in his book to provide evidence of his claim. One such study looked at the correlation between election results and physical attractiveness.
Multiple research studies have demonstrated that physically attractive people have better success in obtaining jobs and in receiving lighter sentences in the courtroom. But education is insulated from this phenomenon, right? We don’t unconsciously give better grades and opportunities to students who are more physically attractive, do we?
The Ingroup
The next factor that affects likeability, according to Cialdini, is self-similarity. We tend to unconsciously like people who are more like us. I wonder if this liking is due to a comfort level. It is so much easier to talk with someone who has a similar background and culture because we are less likely to make social mistakes. Education is about learning and extending our boundaries. Should we put our children in educational settings where they will be most comfortable or where they will be challenged? Is it fair to the youngsters who are moved out of their comfort zone into an uncomfortable setting? Does this affect their academic success?
Salespeople are taught to make sure that they have a similarity with their clients. They will examine your car, your clothes, and comments you make and then coincidentally have a family member from the same region or like the same designer. Why? Because they know that similarity increases likeability and likeability increases sales.
Fitting in
Cialdini’s next trait is flattery or compliments. Have you ever been in a situation at school where you were assigned a group project, and other members of the group flattered your writing skills or technical skills or some other skill, and before you know it, you were doing the whole project? Does this happen to children with less confidence, who are shy, or who desperately want to fit in more than the general population of students? I don’t know how many times when I was teaching; I saw a student willing to do just about anything for the more popular students so they could fit in. The sad part, as you probably already predicted, is that they did all the work, and they were still left out after the project was over. How do we improve the self-esteem and communication skills of our less resilient members of society? Doesn’t the internet and its pervasiveness into all facets of our lives scare you to death if you are the parent of one of these children?
References
Cialdini, R. (2007). Influence: The psychology of persuasion. (Revised edition). New York, NY: Harper Collins.
Olson, I.R., Marshuetz, C. (2005). Facial attractiveness is appraised in a glance. Emotion, 5(4), 498–502. https://doi.org/10.1037/1528-3542.5.4.498
